cracked polaroid

did you think I wouldn’t notice
the cracks        scratches              broken buttons

I tried to use it
only to find everything hazy and unrecognizable

 

                                   why 

can’t we fix it
don’t we have any memory of it saved                            somewhere

at least we’ll remember

most of it comes out to be
åÏΤëΓ↡∅Πš of what it truly is                       anyhow

but what is it truly?

are we looking at what we want to see
or what it really is

what is it truly?
at last we             re m emb   e          r 

of dinners and poisons

I had drinks with my skin one night
and we cheered to our scars
to the slices 
       of flesh
                 that almost seem to make a meal 
how would you like that?
        rare
    certainly rare 
so that I can taste the iron in it
                                   and the future 
and old viruses that never became 
                          and all those paper cuts
they made me go ssssssss while I inhaled
               and maybe suck a drop or two of red

One drink turned into alcohol poisoning
and my skin 
                      ah, my skin
        felt like prunes while it drowned and
sandpaper and                 and                         betrayed
         betrayed like my flesh
                                             like the iron that could have built statues
betrayed like the future sitting on a rocking chair
almost f
              a
              l
              l
              i
              n
              g                                   apart 

               betrayed like the viruses that had hoped to find a home on a
         floor of some lung
and those paper cuts (betrayed betrayed betrayed)
                                   that wanted to wake me up from my slumber 

We ended up in a tomb
                                      my skin and I 
(drinking to dust)